Redemption.

Every day we wake. She wakes up, and in turn wakes me up, and we collapse under this big beautiful green tree in the middle of what seems like an African forest. We sit and read and pray and hold on to each other to realize how much more Jesus is holding on to us. Some days look different than others simply because some days our kids are healthy and some days apart from our own sick kids; we are given more sick kids. And even further than that our hearts some days become sick themselves. Sick with our old lives back home, or sick with how we're currently living our lives now, or wanting everything in everyone's lives to just look different...look meaningful. Look like anything than what they actually appear to be. So I'm sitting under this tree (typical), and Jesus is calling out to me-literally almost yelling as He's saying,

"Child you are REDEEMED!"

...and I stop in my tracks. Like hello, have I lived away from structured society so long that I'm hearing voices in my head, or is this Yahweh? I deem it Him as I am redeemeed. After this kind of one-sided conversation I sit in awe and think about getting this one word sunk down deep within my skin forever. The next day I find myself under the same leaves opening a journal from someone who has a heart made straight from gold and the last word in it? Redeemed. Kelsey you are redeemed. Kelsey...He has REDEEMED you. And so I pray. Pray hard again as it always happens in that way, in that order. And then what does He do? Silly question as I run over the words and finally let them escape to realize that oh hey, He PROVIDES. That's what He does.

So many times we try and do it on our own. Isaac's sick and he won't stop crying...so what to we do?

"CAROLINE! He won't stop crying, no matter what I do, he just keeps crying!'
...I plead and plead for my sister to help me as I don't know how to hep this malnourished child.

As he finally falls alseep in my arms after screaming for hours, I fall asleep in my Daddy's arms who has been trying to get my attention for years...

"DADDY! I can't stop crying, no matter what I do, it's never good enough. It's never well enough. It's never...enough"

And I realize that I cannot save this boy in my arms. My flesh will fail along with my heart...so I should be crying out to the Father who heals...the Father who restores...the Father who REDEEMS! And surely enough He was holding both of us, that night. And surely enough Isaac hasn't been crying as much, and his face is filling out, and his body is even bending a bit. All because we serve a God who redeems us. A God who sees us all in shambles, covered in brokeness and still shouts out,

"DAUGHTER! I can't stop crying over your pain! DAUGHTER! No matter what happens in life I'm alway here for you. DAUGHTER! I'm always enough. DAUGHTER! I will always be enough..."

We read these red letters in the bible, or the black one's on pages of people we admire, or even our own words of affirmation resound in our heads on confusing days or tall mountains...but the only resounding voice that we should listen to is the truth of our Father who is always faithful...even when we suck beyond measure.

As for me? I woke up today and failed at loving. At giving everything to the Lord, at waking up in prayer, and treating those around me like I should. But it is the one word reminder of redemption that will ring throughout my ears all day. And it is the cross that is on my heart, and it is Isaac who is on God's. Please continue to be praying for this sweet sweet boy as we see God work miracles, and show His sense of humor proclaiming that we were silly for ever distrusting.

Peace and love, my friends.
-Kels

Thankful.

Welcome to Al-Shafa Hospital

Zuena and Janey

Kelsey and her boyfriend Zak

Sweet friends

Thursday after lunch, Kels and I took a boda and went to Masese to hang out with Renee and Danielle who run Serving His Children (go check out servinghischildren.org). It was such a beautiful boda ride through the countryside outside of Jinja where the land was hilly and green. We hung out with Renee and Danielle for about two hours and Renee got a call from Emily (at Ekisa) saying they had a new kid they needed to bring over for Renee to look at because he was extremely malnourished. After weighing and assessing this precious boy, we came to the conclusion that he is about 4 years old and weighs about 10 pounds. His name is Isaac (the second one in the past month!) and he is such a handsome child of God. I have never seen a child in person so severely malnourished. Isaac was then taken to a local hospital in Jinja town where they could care for his pneumonia and help him become nourished again. Kelsey and I stayed at the hospital for a few hours that afternoon and those few hours were some of the hardest most incredible hours of my life. We just layed by his side, hearing him cry tearless cries of pain and hurt. Not knowing completely the story behind how this precious child came to us, seeing the hurt in his eyes and the way someone has mistreated him was just more than my heart and mind could bear.

Isaac is so handsome. Although his skin is saggy and all of his bones are sticking out, he has so much wonder, pain, and passion in his deep, dark eyes. Emily thinks he probably has Cerebral Palsy because his legs don’t bend at all. The stiffness in his bones may very well be from severe malnutrition, but there is a strong chance he has a mental disability as well. He also has a really bad bacterial infection in his lungs which causes a horrible cough that sounds so painful. After feeding him milk supplement to help him gain weight for an hour and a half, I walked him around outside. I was singing to him and trying to help him fall asleep. But there was a moment where his heavy head leaned back, and those huge, wondrous eyes looked at me with so much pain. I told Isaac at that moment that I would never be the same. I can’t stop thinking about him and all the other malnourished kids around the world just like him. I’ve read about these things in class at Baylor, but this was the first time I’ve encountered it first hand and I don’t know how I will ever be able to go sit in a classroom and read about it. My heart feels so full: full of joy that we found him, full of pain that he has had to go through this, full of God and how much He loves his precious son, and full of hope for the future as I saw God working yesterday. My passion for malnutrition and children just like Isaac has grown more than I ever thought it would, just over night.

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

Sweet Jesus,

What a blessing to be able to witness your restoration and mercy toward this precious son of yours. Father, I pray for his little heart. I pray that you strengthen it, fill it with joy, and watch over it as he becomes more nourished. I pray for his mind, that he will understand and know how much his heavenly Father cares for him and LOVES him. Show Isaac that he is strong, he is courageous, and he is written in the palm of the Creator’s hands. Encourage this boy, fill this boy with your unconditional love, pour out your grace on his healthy soul and nourish his earthly body so that he may be able to proclaim your name and give you praise! Lord, show him that You are his heavenly Father and that You love him so much. You have this whole situation under control, and we just need to trust that YOU are sovereign and all-powerful and will take care of your precious child. Thank you for your grace, for your redemption, for your forgiveness, for your love.

“What does God say to us? He says: ‘I have called you by your name, you are mine; water will not drown you, fire will not burn you, I will give up nations for you, you are precious to me, I love you. Even if a father could forget his child, I will not forget you. I have carved you in the palm of my hand.’ So also, the people who come in contact with you are precious to Him. Help them to grown in holiness because holiness is not a luxury reserved for a few. It is a simple duty for you and for me and for all.”  -Mother Teresa: The Joy in Loving

“As the truth is in Jesus, put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:21-24

“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:16-18

Life here has been crazy lately, with new children needing loving care, new volunteers and visitors coming in and out, and the Lord teaching Kelsey and I so much each day, sometimes I just need to sit and process. Thankfully, I am blessed to be experiencing each day with my best friend who has been a constant encouragement and stronghold for me these past two months. Kelsey has the passion to love others at a level that doesn’t make since to the world. Whether she fills a room with laughter, prays and sings praises over sweet Isaac in the hospital, or hugs me when I least expect it, my sweet sister has the gift of loving others well. Seeing her love these children relentlessly is truly inspiring to everyone. Her selfless attitude and willingness to serve is such an incredible example of how Christ should be portrayed in each of our lives. We have both been learning so much about how to love God more deeply and through that, how to love others as He loves us. Even though we both realize that we can ALWAYS love others more, I have also realized how blessed I am to be sharing each day I’m here with my best friend who teaches me more how to love every moment as I see Jesus in her constantly. Thankful and blessed are two words that just don’t express fully how much I care and adore this sister of Christ I have the opportunity to love each day. Father, continue to teach me how to love Kelsey more and to learn from how she loves others through the love you have for her. Love you so much Kels, and I am beyond thankful that I am here with YOU!

-Care

Children of God.

African hospitals really are how you picture them. A small room with a couple of beds and if you’re there long enough you can even hear the Mosque call. The doctors come in and all they really know how to do is ask, “How is your child” when your heart is breaking because you don’t want to answer.

Yesterday was a great day learning about a friend’s ministry. Learning and meeting kids who are severely malnourished and seeing how easy it is to love them so outrageously. Sincere conversation turned into an unexpected phone call, that turned into a new kid at Ekisa, which turned into the realization that if they were calling them-then this boy was sick. This boy was so malnourished.

So African hospitals really are how you picture them. Even worse when you have a sick kid in your hands and even worse when you know that there’s nothing you can do except love him.

And feed him. Caroline and I were left with this sweet boy for hours not really knowing what to do. We worked together to lift up his stiff body and I had to stick the syringe in his mouth to feed him the milk that would make him full again. 90 little ML turned into an hour and a half of our hearts breaking as he would cough and moan and we would pray and pray.

But there was this moment. I know he didn’t understand me but that didn’t stop my prayers. I just had to tell him; I just had to whisper in his ear and tell him how much he is loved. I just had to rub his head and tell him it was going to be okay because someone a lot stronger than me and Care was holding him and that he was safe because of that. Caroline had stepped outside for a moment and I just said again into his ear that,

“You are loved child. You are loved by Jesus, and I promise he won’t ever let you go.”

And for a moment, just a small one, he looked up at me and stopped crying. Just a moment, though. But I know it’s because he heard God tell him so. He heard God tell him something that made him stop crying and made him feel okay…if even only just for a second.

Yesterday I woke up and started my day in the word. Knowing I am flawed but learning how to love I went on with my day praying and laughing and learning. But today I woke up knowing how open my heart was cracked. Today I woke up and all I wanted to do was pray for this sweet little boy. Today I know that I am made for more than just living and moving and today I know that I am made to love. Isaac changed my life, yesterday. In just a few hours this 3 years old, 10 pound child, ripped my heart open and showed me who Jesus really was.

Ever since I’ve been here at Ekisa, the Lord has shown me how big He can make my heart for all of His children-but especially children with special needs. But I learned something else yesterday; that we are all children of God. And after meeting Isaac all I ever want to do is sit with sick children and tell them how much they are loved by someone so much bigger and so much braver than myself.

Needless to day, Isaac needs your prayers! After only a day his face if filling out and he is getting full! But he still has a while longer to go so just pray for strength and health and healing. Our God is capable and we just have to trust that His will be done and rest easy in knowing how Sovereign He is. And how lucky are we? Just to be witnesses to miracles like little Isaac. Just to be used by God and for Him to let us see His beautiful creation how we really should. We are all children of God-sometimes some of us just need that little extra reminder. I’m sorry if when I get home you don’t recognize me-because don’t you see, I will never be the same again.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”

1 John 3: 1-2

Peace and love and love, my friends.

-Kelsey