First of all, I am just real bad at writing blogs... hopefully over time it'll get better. But bear with me as I try to accumulate all my feelings/emotions/worries/joys/praises/and requests into one blog post.... Here it goes.
As all of you probably have noticed, KELSEY AND I ARE GOING TO UGANDA! It is literally all I think about, pray about, and talk about. Which I have found is not good. Yes, it is great to be thinking about each next step and to be praying that the Lord would prepare my heart instead of me thinking I can do that on my own, but it has already been hard for me to be present HERE at Baylor. Trying to focus on school, being intentional with friends, and activities I'm involved in when Africa is 24/7 on my mind, is a little tricky. But the Lord has been providing some incredible moments where I can stop, evaluate and see His goodness working even in Waco! He is so faithful.
Let me just try to some what summarize how STINKIN AWESOME KELSEY VERRILL IS!! I literally would not be where I am now without her consistent encouragement, vibrant personality, and unconditional care, not just for the surface level of me, but for my HEART. She is an incredible woman of God that has already grown in her faith exponentially after realizing our hearts were both already in Africa. Her loving, generous spirit is contagious and she is such a light in the lives around her. I LOVE being crazy and spastic with Kelsey, but one of the things I love most about her is how she is still so incredibly intentional with her relationships and doesn't let anything get in the way of hearing someone's heart and how the Lord is working through them. I can definitely say that from the beginning, when this whole thing started, she was the one that was absolutely 100% into it the whole way. I had my doubts, secretly thinking in my mind that it really wouldn't happen. But anytime after talking to Kelsey, those thoughts left my mind that the Lord reaffirmed me through her that Jinja is where we are supposed to be and He will get us there. It has been such a humbling experience realizing that WE CAN NOT PLAN THIS and that if we take this trip into our own hands, it absolutely can not happen. Without Kelsey, I would have done that. I would have thought that I need to figure all this stuff out on my own, I would have stressed myself out and then talked myself out of going. But the Lord kept speaking to me through Kelsey as we talk about how undeserving each of us are to go, yet HE PICKED US! Just as he chose Saul, a man who killed Christians (a whole lot of them), to become Paul, one of the greatest men (besides Jesus) that ever lived and who carried out Christianity and helped make it what it is today. Just like Saul, we are SO undeserving, yet He chose us. He called us. He wants us to GO! "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17. Kels and I literally can not plan this on our own. We have had nothing to do with it so far, it has solely been God moving and taking hold of His own plan. For in our WEAKNESS, He is GREATEST. "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in WEAKNESS.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. This is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
As days pass and Kelsey and I realize more and more of the things that need to get done, I ask that you will pray with us! Pray for trust in the Father and security in that trust. We both know deep down that He will provide (He has provided everything thus far) but the world and our own minds send us lies and make us believe otherwise sometimes. Pray that the hearts of our friends and family will be softened as we continue to tell those that mean most to us that we are leaving our comfortable American lives to follow God's calling for us. The world may hate us and wonder what on earth we are doing, but we just need to trust God and His plan, for it is perfect and unwavering.
Real quick as I close, lately, the word GRACE has been every pressing on my heart and "My grace is enough" is ringing in my ears. I LONG to understand fully what God's grace looks like, but I am starting to realize that I am no where near understanding. For we cannot truly understand the measure and depth of His grace until we KNOW God at a deep and personal level. And until we understand grace, we cannot deeply understand the HOPE that comes from knowing Christ. Needless to say, I am learning A LOT lately. Another blog explaining more to come :)
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